Here I am, round two of recovery. I must say, I liked round one better. I have spoken with most of you about my recovery thus far so I will try to not be too lengthy in this. I am feeling the pain on this one but I guess that makes sense. Two surgeries in one week is grounds for a sore leg, right?? I do not think about the fact that my leg still is not fixed. That makes me sad. I remind myself that there is a purpose to this. God knows what it is...I surely do not. But, I will trust. Here are some things I have learned from all of this:
1. Even though some things don't work the way we plan them to we don't always have someone to blame.
2. The people who deal with physical adversity every single day are the strongest people in the world. They overcome challenges physically but they are strong enough to ignore the mind games that come with it.
3. My friends and my family are full of support and love and give it abundantly when it is needed most.
4. My parents, despite Dad's blog, are a walking definition of love without limits.
5. People you haven't talked to in a very long time can still prove to be the best of friends.
6. Vera Bradley purses and pretty jewelry really do make me feel better :)
I would say these are all very positive things. I have no room left to prop up cards or put another vase full of flowers in my room. My spirits are lifted. My leg may still be in the same spot but I feel better about it and that was really all I needed. I thank you all, again, for the prayers and thoughts you have extended. You have no idea how important it is to me. XOXO
Jun 29, 2008
Jun 26, 2008
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. -Christopher Robin
When I am sad, I tend to revert back to childhood quotes. This time Christopher Robin has the words I need to hear. It worked for Pooh Bear, maybe it will work for me too!
I went back to the doctor today and I did not get such good news. No doctor gives any guarantees and I quickly learned why. The surgery I had last week did not work and I need to go back tomorrow so they can take out the graft they put in last week. I have screws left in my knee from the surgery I had back in Allentown. The top screw was in the way and added a complication during the surgery. Dr H told us it was going to be a longer recovery because of it. The screw only allowed him to go into the knee half as deep as he normally would go into it. He worked around it enough so that he could put my graft into place to replace the ACL. However, the reason my recovery has been so easy and painless is because it shifted. He took an Xray of my knee and you could clearly see that what he put in was very much out of place.
So, the next step...I am going in tomorrow to undo what was done and then going back to the doc next week. My doc will be on vaca so I am going to his associate. He will give me a prescription for PT and a brace which will need to be worn when there is any type of physical activity. . But that leaves me with questions...what about heels? dancing at weddings? Will there be any of that again?
The Doc recommended that I go the Hospital For Special Surgery in NYC. I am planning on going for a consultation. I just don't know how far my insurance, my sanity or my summer days will stretch to cover all of this. I am trying to remain positive but at this point, I am having a very difficult time finding anything positve.
Please pray for me. I don't know what else I can do right now.
with <3
I went back to the doctor today and I did not get such good news. No doctor gives any guarantees and I quickly learned why. The surgery I had last week did not work and I need to go back tomorrow so they can take out the graft they put in last week. I have screws left in my knee from the surgery I had back in Allentown. The top screw was in the way and added a complication during the surgery. Dr H told us it was going to be a longer recovery because of it. The screw only allowed him to go into the knee half as deep as he normally would go into it. He worked around it enough so that he could put my graft into place to replace the ACL. However, the reason my recovery has been so easy and painless is because it shifted. He took an Xray of my knee and you could clearly see that what he put in was very much out of place.
So, the next step...I am going in tomorrow to undo what was done and then going back to the doc next week. My doc will be on vaca so I am going to his associate. He will give me a prescription for PT and a brace which will need to be worn when there is any type of physical activity. . But that leaves me with questions...what about heels? dancing at weddings? Will there be any of that again?
The Doc recommended that I go the Hospital For Special Surgery in NYC. I am planning on going for a consultation. I just don't know how far my insurance, my sanity or my summer days will stretch to cover all of this. I am trying to remain positive but at this point, I am having a very difficult time finding anything positve.
Please pray for me. I don't know what else I can do right now.
with <3
Jun 25, 2008
“The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”
Dec. 2005-July 2006-Jun 2008
There it is. My ups and downs. The last pic was taken three days before my surgery. I must say, I am lacking when it comes to pics of myself. I guess that always happens though when you are the one who takes all the pictures! I must say, the eating habits while not moving...not so good! I have decided though before I go to bed tonight...crunches galore! Why not?!!? I need to fill my time, right?
My parents were kind enough tonight to take me out to dinner. I have not showered in two days so I was not looking for a fancy dinner. I was looking for a scenery outside of my own house! I was pretty miserable all day today and the later part of yesterday. I am having a difficult time with this sit and heal part. So, being outside of the house lifted my moods wonderfully!
My father was driving us today and my mother was kind enough to ride in the backseat so I can sit shotgun. As we were driving, we were listening to the 50s station and a song came on that I had never heard before. As soon as the classic crooning began, both my mom and dad started to sing along. Each knew all the words and sang in their own beautiful tones. While some may find this corny and most pre-teens would be mortified with embarrassment, I sat in amazement listening to the two of them. I can't say I would sign them up for American Idol anytime soon but I was struck with the authenticity of their love. I wondered, at what moment, so many years ago, did they feel comfortable enough with each other to sing out loud in the car? At what moment did they first hear this song together and realize they both knew all the words? It's funny, I can't even realize moments like this with Victor and it's not even 3 years! But I liked knowing that at some point, my parents didn't stop to realize it. They just know it happened.
I set all these goals in my life and I have so many ideas of what should have already happened for me. Sometimes, I neglect to understand the destination I want to reach is just an excuse to journey. Here's to the journey with all of it's many twists and turns, lbs lost and gained, goals achieved and failed, deadlines passed and met.....to knowing that one day, it will just happen.
There it is. My ups and downs. The last pic was taken three days before my surgery. I must say, I am lacking when it comes to pics of myself. I guess that always happens though when you are the one who takes all the pictures! I must say, the eating habits while not moving...not so good! I have decided though before I go to bed tonight...crunches galore! Why not?!!? I need to fill my time, right?
My parents were kind enough tonight to take me out to dinner. I have not showered in two days so I was not looking for a fancy dinner. I was looking for a scenery outside of my own house! I was pretty miserable all day today and the later part of yesterday. I am having a difficult time with this sit and heal part. So, being outside of the house lifted my moods wonderfully!
My father was driving us today and my mother was kind enough to ride in the backseat so I can sit shotgun. As we were driving, we were listening to the 50s station and a song came on that I had never heard before. As soon as the classic crooning began, both my mom and dad started to sing along. Each knew all the words and sang in their own beautiful tones. While some may find this corny and most pre-teens would be mortified with embarrassment, I sat in amazement listening to the two of them. I can't say I would sign them up for American Idol anytime soon but I was struck with the authenticity of their love. I wondered, at what moment, so many years ago, did they feel comfortable enough with each other to sing out loud in the car? At what moment did they first hear this song together and realize they both knew all the words? It's funny, I can't even realize moments like this with Victor and it's not even 3 years! But I liked knowing that at some point, my parents didn't stop to realize it. They just know it happened.
I set all these goals in my life and I have so many ideas of what should have already happened for me. Sometimes, I neglect to understand the destination I want to reach is just an excuse to journey. Here's to the journey with all of it's many twists and turns, lbs lost and gained, goals achieved and failed, deadlines passed and met.....to knowing that one day, it will just happen.
Jun 24, 2008
How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.
I am sitting here for the 5th day in a row now. The most excitement I have seen is debating whether to stay upstairs in my room or downstairs where there are more channles on the tv. I am feeling great. I have taken very limited doses of the prescribed medicine. Staying on top of the advil every 6 hours or so. I am so happy the pain is little but it brings me to a point of feeling like I can do more than just sit around.
I showered for the first time yesterday since Friday morning. That was exciting. In my mind, the next shower is scheduled for Wednesday night since I go to the doctor on Thursday morning. I have watched a countless number of Law & Orders, corny movies, E! network countdowns, VH1 video countdowns (New Kids are currently #1), and multiple Mad TV reruns. Sadly, there haven't even been very many good lifetime movies. I have played hours of Nintendo DS, read 8 out of the 10 magazines Ben bought me, made my bed every morning, recounted money that was raised about 10 times before I passed it on to be deposited and checked myspace about a thousand time. I am at this point where I don't know what to do next.
So, here is my game plan for the rest of my time sitting. PLEASE feel free to offer suggestions on what I can do to fill time.
1. Scrapbooking: I have let this go a long time and I have a great book I can use. I will order pictures from snapfish since there are so many to choose from. I just need to decide what to do it on.
2. Lesson Plans: I have decided I will take time to redo all of my lesson plans for next school year. What better way to get all organized then to update and review all my lessons?
3. Reading: I did buy a book called Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult. I know as soon as I read it, I will zip right through it because I love her books. I am trying to hold off on this in case Doc tells me I will be on crutches for 4-6 weeks.
Any other ideas? I am stuck at this point and I am thinking this will not take me as long as I need it to...especially if this is a slower recovery!! Keep updating your own blogs...I AM CHECKING! :)
I showered for the first time yesterday since Friday morning. That was exciting. In my mind, the next shower is scheduled for Wednesday night since I go to the doctor on Thursday morning. I have watched a countless number of Law & Orders, corny movies, E! network countdowns, VH1 video countdowns (New Kids are currently #1), and multiple Mad TV reruns. Sadly, there haven't even been very many good lifetime movies. I have played hours of Nintendo DS, read 8 out of the 10 magazines Ben bought me, made my bed every morning, recounted money that was raised about 10 times before I passed it on to be deposited and checked myspace about a thousand time. I am at this point where I don't know what to do next.
So, here is my game plan for the rest of my time sitting. PLEASE feel free to offer suggestions on what I can do to fill time.
1. Scrapbooking: I have let this go a long time and I have a great book I can use. I will order pictures from snapfish since there are so many to choose from. I just need to decide what to do it on.
2. Lesson Plans: I have decided I will take time to redo all of my lesson plans for next school year. What better way to get all organized then to update and review all my lessons?
3. Reading: I did buy a book called Perfect Match by Jodi Picoult. I know as soon as I read it, I will zip right through it because I love her books. I am trying to hold off on this in case Doc tells me I will be on crutches for 4-6 weeks.
Any other ideas? I am stuck at this point and I am thinking this will not take me as long as I need it to...especially if this is a slower recovery!! Keep updating your own blogs...I AM CHECKING! :)
Jun 22, 2008
“When the goal is in sight, all your physical pain disappears, and your mental determination shall carry you the rest of the way”
I am sitting here two days after my surgery and I am wondering...when does this get difficult? I know it seems insane but I cannot say there has been one point since the surgery when I felt like I was in pain. I can say that I am very uncomfortable. But, pain? Not so much. Now THAT is good news!!!
Let me tell you about the surgery. First of all, we got to the hospital at 8am and sat around for basically two hours. The surgery was scheduled for 10:10am. A piece of advice for anyone who may have surgery on their leg in the future, do NOT shave the day of your surgery. Those antiseptic wipes do nothing but make your leg itch and burn if you shave that morning. Learn from me. After sitting around and listening to other people watch Maury on the tv's, they FINALLY called my name at 10:45. Running late. Not good. And you can just imagine how patient Dad was during this time. :) They roll me into the operating unit in a wheelchair and this was the FIRST and only time I felt nervous. Mostly because it felt like I was being brought to my death. No one on staff said a word to me and the nurse who was pushing me did not even introduce herself. The staff at this hospital was clearly seeing my operation as a matter of business and they did nothing to make me more comfortable. Would not recommend this hospital in the future to anyone.
Finally, the anesthesiologist meets me and inevitable has difficulty finding a vein to use in my arm. My doc shows up and in order to indicate my leg, he draws a heart around me current scar and a happy face in the middle. haha. Now you know why I like him! They bring me into the operating room and the nurses are still having a difficult time making small talk. The silence was making me more and more comfortable with each passing moment. (note: sarcasm) But, in the end, I was drugged so that is all I can remember.
I woke up shaking the tears out of my head. I was freezing and my ankle hurt. When I told the doc, he simply stated he didn't know why it hurt and it will probably go away. He must have thought I was crazy. In my mind, I was thinking, it is just stiff. I kept thinking, where is Stacy? I want Stacy to massage my ankle and foot! lol. (How's that for a shout out Stace?!)
I am home and the numbness has worn off. I am taking my meds (cutting them in half just in case) with multiple advil every four hours. I am sleeping well. Boyfriend and Ben came over all day yesterday. The toughest part so far was figuring out this cooler they gave me. It took until this morning to realize we should be draining the ice pack in addition to turning on the cooler with the power button. lol. Sad, but true.
All in all, I feel great! The doctor did warn that this recovery will be longer than expected because the screw that was left in my knee from the last surgery. He originally planned on removing it but could not because it is lodged in too far. So, he stapled in the new acl and the screw is left from the last one. So, recovery will be slower. I don't know what that means exactly but I will go back to see him on Thursday. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE CALLS, TEXTS, MESSAGES AND KIND WORDS! YOUR SUPPORT AND PRAYERS REALLY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!!! :) xoxo
Let me tell you about the surgery. First of all, we got to the hospital at 8am and sat around for basically two hours. The surgery was scheduled for 10:10am. A piece of advice for anyone who may have surgery on their leg in the future, do NOT shave the day of your surgery. Those antiseptic wipes do nothing but make your leg itch and burn if you shave that morning. Learn from me. After sitting around and listening to other people watch Maury on the tv's, they FINALLY called my name at 10:45. Running late. Not good. And you can just imagine how patient Dad was during this time. :) They roll me into the operating unit in a wheelchair and this was the FIRST and only time I felt nervous. Mostly because it felt like I was being brought to my death. No one on staff said a word to me and the nurse who was pushing me did not even introduce herself. The staff at this hospital was clearly seeing my operation as a matter of business and they did nothing to make me more comfortable. Would not recommend this hospital in the future to anyone.
Finally, the anesthesiologist meets me and inevitable has difficulty finding a vein to use in my arm. My doc shows up and in order to indicate my leg, he draws a heart around me current scar and a happy face in the middle. haha. Now you know why I like him! They bring me into the operating room and the nurses are still having a difficult time making small talk. The silence was making me more and more comfortable with each passing moment. (note: sarcasm) But, in the end, I was drugged so that is all I can remember.
I woke up shaking the tears out of my head. I was freezing and my ankle hurt. When I told the doc, he simply stated he didn't know why it hurt and it will probably go away. He must have thought I was crazy. In my mind, I was thinking, it is just stiff. I kept thinking, where is Stacy? I want Stacy to massage my ankle and foot! lol. (How's that for a shout out Stace?!)
I am home and the numbness has worn off. I am taking my meds (cutting them in half just in case) with multiple advil every four hours. I am sleeping well. Boyfriend and Ben came over all day yesterday. The toughest part so far was figuring out this cooler they gave me. It took until this morning to realize we should be draining the ice pack in addition to turning on the cooler with the power button. lol. Sad, but true.
All in all, I feel great! The doctor did warn that this recovery will be longer than expected because the screw that was left in my knee from the last surgery. He originally planned on removing it but could not because it is lodged in too far. So, he stapled in the new acl and the screw is left from the last one. So, recovery will be slower. I don't know what that means exactly but I will go back to see him on Thursday. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE CALLS, TEXTS, MESSAGES AND KIND WORDS! YOUR SUPPORT AND PRAYERS REALLY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME!!! :) xoxo
Jun 19, 2008
"Pain is no longer pain when it is past."
Oh how foolish this quote seems to me. The past two days I have been thinking alot about the surgery I had done 8 years ago. First of all, can we take a moment to try and understand it was already 8 years ago?!?! If you had asked me a month ago about my surgery I would be able to explain the misery of my physical therapy. I am sure my father has a different version of it since he was there with me. But, they hooked up some horrid machine to "wake up the muscles" in my leg. That was awful. I still hold resentment for that...specifically against Joel, my phsyical therapist at the time. As this surgery rears its ugly head, I am remembering much more of the details of the day of surgery in 2000. I can remember waking up and worrying that I woke up in the middle of surgery. I felt a strong pressure on my leg. Almost as if someone was pushing on all sides of it. The anesthesia clearly did it's job because I woke up two hours after the surgery had finished! I can remember my mom coming into the room. After that, I just remember sitting in the recliner at home staring blankly at the tv; effects of percocet.
I am having surgery tomorrow and I'm not gonna lie, I am a bit nervous. How can one tell that I am? Well, I woke up at 9am and cleaned my bedroom, my bathroom, and even straightened up underneath my bed. I rearranged my nightstand so that a book, my nintendo DS, my laptop and a bottle of advil can fit comfortably within reach. I am doing laundry and getting ready to go grocery shopping so there is food in if the percocet allows me to digest it. I am not sure why I am so nervous. I mean, I have done this before and I got through it, right? I just am a different person now. I don't like the idea of being a burden on anyone. Knowing that someone will have to drive me anywhere for the next 3-4 weeks. Knowing I cannot walk downstairs to get my own food for the next 2-3 days. I don't know. I guess I am just nervous that I will want to do it on my own and I won't be able to. On the other hand, the support so many have given me already has been humbling. Friends sending emails from different states, people rearranging schedules to just sit in my house in case I do need something, prayers of support and words of encouragement everytime it comes up in conversation. Ultimately, I must see this. Whether I asked for it or not, people are there to help. That is a gift. I will be updating again once I am coherent enough to spell check. :)
Money collected: $1937.60 Still looking to collect about $1200 more! Get that money in! :)
I am having surgery tomorrow and I'm not gonna lie, I am a bit nervous. How can one tell that I am? Well, I woke up at 9am and cleaned my bedroom, my bathroom, and even straightened up underneath my bed. I rearranged my nightstand so that a book, my nintendo DS, my laptop and a bottle of advil can fit comfortably within reach. I am doing laundry and getting ready to go grocery shopping so there is food in if the percocet allows me to digest it. I am not sure why I am so nervous. I mean, I have done this before and I got through it, right? I just am a different person now. I don't like the idea of being a burden on anyone. Knowing that someone will have to drive me anywhere for the next 3-4 weeks. Knowing I cannot walk downstairs to get my own food for the next 2-3 days. I don't know. I guess I am just nervous that I will want to do it on my own and I won't be able to. On the other hand, the support so many have given me already has been humbling. Friends sending emails from different states, people rearranging schedules to just sit in my house in case I do need something, prayers of support and words of encouragement everytime it comes up in conversation. Ultimately, I must see this. Whether I asked for it or not, people are there to help. That is a gift. I will be updating again once I am coherent enough to spell check. :)
Money collected: $1937.60 Still looking to collect about $1200 more! Get that money in! :)
Jun 12, 2008
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa
Well, here I am cleaning out my classroom and jamming out to some tunes. I love days like this. No, I don't mean when the kids aren't in school. I mean being able to feel accomplished. A fantastic year and I get to put away all the parts that are left behind from it. I am relaxed, getting organized, and feeling energized from the success! I may be a bit unconventional in terms of how I get things done. Example: Right now I am playing my ipod pretty loudly, hopefully not too loud, with good songs to keep energy going. Such as "What Would You Do" by City High or "Allentown" by Billy Joel. A good mix, contribution of my dear Ben. I must say, I did skip "Give it to Her". Something about theology teacher doesn't match that. My neighbor (mac) is playing "Yahweh, I know you are near". Yeah, we are different.
I am writing this to update you guys on the knee craziness. As you have guessed, the title doesn't indicate good things. I am trying to remain positive but it's not working. lol I went to the doctor this past Monday with MRI results in hand. Doc confirmed that I will need surgery. I have torn my ACL, meniscus, beginnings of arthritis and a cyst on the back of my knee. All of it can be taken care of with the surgery but my only option besides surgery would be "live with it". Live with it includes never wearing heels, feeling a strain in my knee everytime I am going up or down stairs, and not being able to dance at weddings, etc. No, thank you!
So, surgery is scheduled for next Friday. I know that the big picture is, I will not have problems with my knee when it is over with. However, I am seeing my summer like this: crutches 1-2 weeks. PT 2-3 months. Working for a full recovery over 6 months. This may be a good thing because I know what the physical therapy entails and it will definitely keep me on track with the exercise weight loss thing. But, it is my right knee so I am not sure when I will be able to drive again. Thus, relying on others. However, last time I got this surgery, I was off crutches much sooner than I expected. In addition, my knee was feeling really terrific when I was on top of my working out. I was even running at one point! So, this is my goal. I want to be able to go jogging by October. Doctor said it should happen by three months. Say prayers for me that I don't get down on myself. That is my biggest fear at this point.
I must get back to cleaning! :) I want to be out of here in two hours! Money update: A dear friend changed her $2/lb to a $500 donation!!!! I am thinking I am going to hit $3500!!! Make sure you all get that money mailed to me! I will be working on pictures for the next post (Dawn!)
Pax e Bene! :)
I am writing this to update you guys on the knee craziness. As you have guessed, the title doesn't indicate good things. I am trying to remain positive but it's not working. lol I went to the doctor this past Monday with MRI results in hand. Doc confirmed that I will need surgery. I have torn my ACL, meniscus, beginnings of arthritis and a cyst on the back of my knee. All of it can be taken care of with the surgery but my only option besides surgery would be "live with it". Live with it includes never wearing heels, feeling a strain in my knee everytime I am going up or down stairs, and not being able to dance at weddings, etc. No, thank you!
So, surgery is scheduled for next Friday. I know that the big picture is, I will not have problems with my knee when it is over with. However, I am seeing my summer like this: crutches 1-2 weeks. PT 2-3 months. Working for a full recovery over 6 months. This may be a good thing because I know what the physical therapy entails and it will definitely keep me on track with the exercise weight loss thing. But, it is my right knee so I am not sure when I will be able to drive again. Thus, relying on others. However, last time I got this surgery, I was off crutches much sooner than I expected. In addition, my knee was feeling really terrific when I was on top of my working out. I was even running at one point! So, this is my goal. I want to be able to go jogging by October. Doctor said it should happen by three months. Say prayers for me that I don't get down on myself. That is my biggest fear at this point.
I must get back to cleaning! :) I want to be out of here in two hours! Money update: A dear friend changed her $2/lb to a $500 donation!!!! I am thinking I am going to hit $3500!!! Make sure you all get that money mailed to me! I will be working on pictures for the next post (Dawn!)
Pax e Bene! :)
Jun 9, 2008
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Well, here we are at 8am in the morning and it is currently 81 degrees. I am sitting in my classroom on the second floor of a non air conditioned room. All the students have been redirected to other rooms to take their exams. No one is testing up here because of the extreme heat on the second floor. With the heat index today, we are looking at 110. God help us. Truly, help us. But, I can't say I am fully complaining. This heat is indication that I need to report to school for four more days. That each day for the next few months will be long, busy, and full of sunshine. I don't like the heat. I am more of a cold weather person. But, something about it does make me feel like there is an extra bounce in my step. A bigger smile on my face. Less stress in my life. It's summer. I am thinking this one may be super hot but I am ready.
I went yesterday to get weighed "out" for the Fat Off. You will be proud to know that I lost 16 lbs in two months. I was not the person who lost the most weight. There are two others who lost 20 lbs. But, I guess that winning wasn't really the goal now was it? We have not counted totals yet for money. That will take place once we collect all the money. I am estimating (through the donations pledged) I am going to end up somewhere around$2700. I will let you know that once it is collected. So, I took advantage of yesterday to eat all the crap I had been missing. First, chicken quesedillas. Next, mozzarella sticks. Later in the day we took the boys to the Liberty Science Center. I got chicken fingers and fries for dinner. Finally, finished it all off with friendly's ice cream. haha. Talk about extreme!!! I am not going to lie though, I felt like crap after eating it. Not the guily. More so the physical nature of it all. I felt lethargic and sooo full. Not a good feeling after all. Who knew?!?!
So, here's to you my friends and family who have been supporting me tirelessly the past two months. I will blog on and hope to lose another 16 by the time camp rolls around! We decided (truest to the biggest loser) we want to weigh in again at camp and see who kept it off. That gives me two more months!!!!
I went yesterday to get weighed "out" for the Fat Off. You will be proud to know that I lost 16 lbs in two months. I was not the person who lost the most weight. There are two others who lost 20 lbs. But, I guess that winning wasn't really the goal now was it? We have not counted totals yet for money. That will take place once we collect all the money. I am estimating (through the donations pledged) I am going to end up somewhere around$2700. I will let you know that once it is collected. So, I took advantage of yesterday to eat all the crap I had been missing. First, chicken quesedillas. Next, mozzarella sticks. Later in the day we took the boys to the Liberty Science Center. I got chicken fingers and fries for dinner. Finally, finished it all off with friendly's ice cream. haha. Talk about extreme!!! I am not going to lie though, I felt like crap after eating it. Not the guily. More so the physical nature of it all. I felt lethargic and sooo full. Not a good feeling after all. Who knew?!?!
So, here's to you my friends and family who have been supporting me tirelessly the past two months. I will blog on and hope to lose another 16 by the time camp rolls around! We decided (truest to the biggest loser) we want to weigh in again at camp and see who kept it off. That gives me two more months!!!!
Jun 6, 2008
I don't think anybody can be a success who doesn't like what they do.
Yes, my friends, it is true. I like what I am doing! I sat at my last meeting with students for the year today and as they munched on multiple pieces of pizza, I ate my chicken and broccoli. Gleefully. :) --> see? I like knowing that everyone around me is enjoying food and I am not miserable enjoying something different.
It has been two (official) months today since I started my healthy habits. 14 lbs in two months. Just think, by the time Camp rolls around, I can be down by a 15% weight loss! I could be into that 160's range I dream about! lol (see last post). That is something. I have been thinking a lot today about how the end of this fundraiser is coming at the same time as the end of my school year. I began looking up quotes about endings and they all seemed so...complete. I don't like that thought. I feel like I am finishing Phase 1. I am beginning my summer, beginning my weight loss without $$, beginning my knee rehabilitation. "Every new beginning comes from some beginning's end". This is true, so instead of focusing on my initial motivation being gone or letting go of 117 of the most amazing teenagers I have ever met, I am focusing on a new beginning.
So many people complain about diets and exercising. To them, I say this; you are doing it wrong. If you eat well and exercise even just a little bit, you do feel good. You will be successful. If you measure success by your weight, it may come slow. Don't stop doing it. After two months, I can say I feel good, I look good and I am proud of myself for accomlishing these goals. YOUR support are the words I needed to get here.
Check back in next week for the totals....I will be weighing "out" on Sunday. I will report back with weight loss and $ raised. Also, I will tell you what happens with my knee. I go back to the doc with my MRI results on mondays...say your prayers!!!
xoxo
It has been two (official) months today since I started my healthy habits. 14 lbs in two months. Just think, by the time Camp rolls around, I can be down by a 15% weight loss! I could be into that 160's range I dream about! lol (see last post). That is something. I have been thinking a lot today about how the end of this fundraiser is coming at the same time as the end of my school year. I began looking up quotes about endings and they all seemed so...complete. I don't like that thought. I feel like I am finishing Phase 1. I am beginning my summer, beginning my weight loss without $$, beginning my knee rehabilitation. "Every new beginning comes from some beginning's end". This is true, so instead of focusing on my initial motivation being gone or letting go of 117 of the most amazing teenagers I have ever met, I am focusing on a new beginning.
So many people complain about diets and exercising. To them, I say this; you are doing it wrong. If you eat well and exercise even just a little bit, you do feel good. You will be successful. If you measure success by your weight, it may come slow. Don't stop doing it. After two months, I can say I feel good, I look good and I am proud of myself for accomlishing these goals. YOUR support are the words I needed to get here.
Check back in next week for the totals....I will be weighing "out" on Sunday. I will report back with weight loss and $ raised. Also, I will tell you what happens with my knee. I go back to the doc with my MRI results on mondays...say your prayers!!!
xoxo
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