"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."- Nelson Mandela

I need to get myself back on track with WW. I am falling apart. Not really but it feels like it. I am not good with gaining weight so every pound weighs more than it's worth. I am going to a meeting tonnight which is designed for the last 15 to lose. I am soo there. Grrr...I hate setting a goal and not meeting it. But, I guess it is time to reset and start again. I will NOT give up on me this time.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

All year long I emphasize and push my students to get involved in service. Make sure you do it, you will love it, you make new friends, you will learn so much about yourself, it is an easy way to give back. So many reasons why we all should. But, this past year I found myself wondering, Why don't I? I do Camp Fatima but other than that, all my service projects have disappeared. Some may claim my career to be service (haha), but I knew that I was lacking in my own spirituality because of this absence. Walking into ServiceWorx this summer, I felt good about the decision. I knew I wanted to find new places to volunteer and new ideas to further my own choice to help others. I have completed three out of the four weeks and my perspective is completely new. I want to do so much. I have helped at multiple senior centers, food banks, daycares and soup kitchens. But, I sat today with a woman who is what you would picture of a woman who is dying. She is in a wheelchair, can't manage to hold her own head up so her neck leans backwards, each word sounds more like a gasp for air than speech and she struggles to keep her eyes focused on you. Her name is Norma. It is important we all know her name. I sat down next to Norma and tried to hear what she was saying. I looked first to her eyes, bright blue. I saw a person there behind the clear glassy effect of the medications she takes. When I looked her in the eye, I realized that I could not hear what she was saying. So my focus moved to her mouth. Matybe I could read her lips? This approach worked but it took some adjustment since I struggled to look at her decaying teeth, her chapped mouth and the effects of gum disease taking form within. But, I focused on her words. Then I realized something...this is Norma. This is a woman who once danced with men, laughed with her family, cried over the struggles in life and has grown to an advanced stage of Alzheimer's. I listened to things she said to me for an hour and a half. Some easily understandable and some completely incoherent. I watched as she saw one of our ServiceWorx participants walk by and she laughed saying, "Oh she is beautiful!". I watched her jump out of fear and suprise when someone walked up behind her and approached her with no words. It is hard to say what I am learning this summer. I am being challenged to spend most of my days in senior citizen homes, which is the service I would least likely choose myself. But, I realize, if Norma can manage to lift her head, look me in the eye and speak her whole life to me...then I need to listen. This goes well beyond service, or summer jobs, or living what I teach. This is about seeing the face of God in all who live among us. Such an innocent, frail, trusting and needy person. I am so, so lucky to be able to look at this woman who has lived her life and sits in her home with hope and dignity every single day. It is so humbling and so eye opening to know, there are people in this world who are waiting on you. What the hell has taken me so long to get there?

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

I have been having a week of insight. In so many little ways, through so many important people, I have been realizing how very great my life is. I hate writing blogs about this because it always seems so boastful. But, I just need to! I have been spending a lot of time with friends, family and my love. Being with everyone, in their own moments has made me just feel energized and truly, confident. It is so nice to be surrounded by people who have such good spirits. Jun and I have always said that we are lucky to have so many people in our lives that have good hearts. But, being able to have this week off and spend time with some of them makes me realize the depth of love in my life. It doesn't feel like the week is flying by or dragging on. It feels like I am truly living life to the fullest in every moment. Now, that may end now that I need to clean my house (haha!). But, even going back to work on Sunday is not going to be exhausting for me or challenging in anyway. I am looking forward to bringing a bit of this joy to people who may not have it or to those who seem to need it a bit more than I do. :)

Today, I realized that miracles happen around us. I witnessed a modern day hero and one that I am lucky enough to call friend. I was given the opportunity to cheer on one man running, with little training, 26.2 miles. The only thing that got him through was the love in his heart for a Camp that has affected many. Anton, a camper, has cerebral palsy. He and Tony worked together to raise near $30,000 for Camp Fatima. And for every mile, Anton tells us, he had to "drag Tony along". How could a love be so good that make you feel like you can do anything? Imagine accomplishing a personal goal and using it to make one child's dream come true and to allow 60 other children to feel secure in their chance to attend their favorite week of the year. Imagine....miracles that you and I overlook, happening everyday around us. I am proud, humbled, inspired and blessed to know Tony. He would never admit to the great success this effort has become. But, trust me when I say, this is sure proof that our God is ALIVE AND WORKING among us!

Saving Moments

(WARNING: *ERIN* THIS POST IS VERY JESUS-Y! HAHA)
I love this time of year. The Easter Triduum always proves to be an outstanding experience within my faith journey. I suppose it should for us all, right? I am thankful that my parish is full of spirituality and that my pastor always makes this Easter celebration one that is deep with meaning and rich with symbolism. My father and I always joke about our tendency to get a little choked up during the Triduum. I know I am emotional, this is no surprise. I also know that I most likely received this trait from him. But, I kept thinking last night, what do you do? What do you do when your heart is so full of of love and joy that you feel you need to breathe deeper? Last night, as they prepared the altar for the consecration, they sang a song called "In Remembrance of Me". I was so moved by this song. I have heard it before but reflecting on the nature of the evening, it hit me.
Take eat and be comforted
Drink and remember too
That this is my body and precious blood
Shed for you, shed for you

In remembrance of me always love
In remembrance of me don't look above
But in your heart, in your heart
Look in your heart for God
Everytime I receive the Eucharist, I am not just receiving Jesus. I am declaring myself in love with the gift He has given us in this sacrifice. I am telling Him that I can't do this alone. Such a simple change of thought and such a powerful reminder for me. In the book I teach from, they refer to "saving moments". I couldn't help but think of that last night. A moment where God's presence jumps into a conversation, a quiet afternoon walk, a crazy day at work. A moment where you remember the gift of being saved. My book states that these moments are easily found within the sacraments. And for me, I felt it last night. I don't know how to respond when my heart senses God so strongly. But, I do know that I feel motivated to do all things He calls me to do. The challenge is carrying that desire outside of the mass.
Happy Good Friday to all of you. I may have to blog again about my saving moments today. Lord knows this liturgy always leaves me in awe. <3

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust

I had the great joy today of running into an old friend. It is funny, I tend to see him in random places and everytime, we promise to keep in touch. We don't, though. I can't help but wonder...is there a reason we keep running into each other? Is there some stronger reason we end up at the same place at the same time? I was friends with him when I was in high school. He is going through a major transition in his life now and I got to thinking... how often do we stop to recognize who we have become by the people we know? I mean, many of us appreciate our loved ones through words and acts of kindness. But, do we ever really think about who we have become because of them?
As a high school girl, I was insecure and always looking for approval from people my age. Inevitably, this got me mixed up with some not so great people. But, these days I can see more value in the lessons I learned from the ones who always stood by me. The ones who constantly praised me in who I was and laughed with me in every silly moment. The ones who encouraged me to play basketball despite my lack of skill. The ones who listened to my every nasty word about myself or someone else who happened to annoy me in a moment.
I have lost my train of thought....but essentially...I am lucky to have so many people in my life that have taught me how to live myself by the love they have always given me. Thank you xoxox

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... It's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Vivian Greene

Here is the thing about life...
It is never easy. I was present when one of my coworkers had a long detailed conversation with a student about the challenges in life. And it made me realize something, we all have them. I would bet any one of you out there can spend hours talking about the stresses of your day to day activities. Or the fears you have for the future of your family. We carry them with us, each differently, but all heavily. It seems as if right when life gets carefree, you get hit with something else that challenges you. I have made a decision to take hold of all that challenges me or overwhelms me. I am not saying this is happening overnight or with ease, but I want to learn how to dance in the rain. Not so much a new beginning as me taking charge. Because, ultimately, the only way you can be happy in life is if you choose to put all your energy into the joyful things. Everything else will figure itself out. So for now, I will dance. <3